Devotions for Women: 10 Questions and Answers about Becoming a Mentor

Devotions for Women

Sweat dripped off me as I stood before 150 antsy kids talking about God's work in faraway Russia. While a metal pole building sheltered us from the brutal sun that day at Good News Camp, it also cooked us like a turkey in an oven. All the children rushed out for lunch the minute they were dismissed. All, that is, except one. That one preteen girl approached me, eager to learn more about being a missionary. I didn't know it then, but God used that moment to entwine our hearts in a mentoring relationship that will last a lifetime and carry into eternity.

Mentoring wasn't on my radar back then. I was, and still am, just an ordinary person doing my best to follow hard after God's heart. I hadn't achieved any kind of super-Christian status that I perceived was necessary to mentor others. Of course, I hoped to set a good example. Shouldn't we all aspire to be a good example to everyone in the way we live for God's glory? The Apostle Paul instructed Timothy, "Be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity" (1 Timothy 4:12 NLT). Timothy, though quite young, could demonstrate godly living to the brethren in his community. Anyone, at any age, can be a good example.

But as we grow older and more mature in our faith, God expects us to go beyond being a good example. Though the Bible doesn't use the word "mentor," in Titus 2, Paul gives the blueprint for mentoring relationships. Titus was the leader Paul stationed in Crete to "promote living that reflects wholesome teaching" (Titus 2:1 NLT).

Specifically, Paul directed Titus to instruct older, and presumably more spiritually mature, men and women to "teach" younger men and women the practicalities of right living. Teaching goes beyond simply being an example by intentionally guiding. This is the essence of mentoring: an older, more experienced person intentionally comes alongside a younger person to show and advise how to live the Christian life. Paul's letter to Titus with these instructions was not just for those people at that time. No, his words provide valuable directions for our lives today. Perhaps you've attained the age where you've earned a few gray hairs, and you've been growing more mature in your walk with Christ. You don't know it all, and you're not perfect, but you have reached a season of life where your faith has been tested and strengthened by several trials. If so, God expects you to begin to mentor someone younger and less experienced in faith.

Most of us feel like we still have so much to learn about God and living well for Him, so we believe we don't yet have the wisdom to offer the next generation in God's family. And, with the immediate availability of Google's "wisdom," the younger generation doesn't always appear receptive to mentoring. But God's Word stands eternal (Isaiah 26:4), so His command to mentor remains relevant despite today's technology and norms.

How Do I Get Started?

Have I convinced you of your responsibility to mentor? If so, you may be wondering how it all works. Below are the most frequently asked questions I've received about how to become a mentor. I've drawn on Paul's instructions to Titus and my own experiences to offer answers that can help you feel more confident in your ability to mentor a younger person.

Frequently Asked Questions about Mentoring

Q: How do you know who needs a mentor?

A: Pray that God would connect you with a person who needs a mentor and would be a good match for your personality and experiences.

We all need mentors, so opportunities abound. God dropped mentoring into my lap, so I sort of skipped this important step. I suppose He knew I needed a bit of a kick in the pants to get started. Though I didn't think ahead enough to ask God for my first mentoring relationship, I have since learned to pray for young women I mentor regularly, and those God is preparing for future connections.

Q: How do I initiate mentoring?

A: Find a mentoring program to join or simply offer friendship.

Some churches or Christian organizations offer programs in which you can volunteer to become a mentor. In this scenario, the organization will match you with an individual who has requested mentoring. Partnering in this way lets you easily jump in. Often the organization provides helpful training and structure for the relationship. Sometimes, however, it will take trial and error to find a good match. This hurdle can usually be overcome through prayer and patience.

Don't worry, though, if you don't have access to a mentoring program. With the understanding of mentoring as intentional friendship, evaluate the needs of younger people you know. It's prudent to mentor someone who is the same gender as you. Is there anyone who seems hungry for spiritual growth? Do you sense a natural connection, even if not yet deep, that could be nurtured? You may ask if they want a mentor, but that's not necessary to move forward.

Once you have prayerfully identified an individual, get started by extending a hand of friendship. Suggest meeting for coffee or lunch. Invite them to your home for dinner and board games. Maybe you could attend a church activity together. You don't need to make a big pronouncement of the beginning of a formal mentoring relationship. With my young friends, I never asked upfront if they wanted a mentor. I simply invited them and allowed the relationships to develop organically. Some grew into ongoing mentoring relationships, and others took a different direction.

Q: What is the time commitment for mentoring?

A: You can set a reasonable schedule for meeting that fits your life's pace.

There isn't a formula for just the right number of meetings, but you should meet frequently enough to get to know each other better. Especially at the beginning of a relationship, long spaces between meetings delay the formation of deeper friendship. I recommend initially meeting at least once a month or more often if possible. After you know one another better, you may be able to go longer periods without face-to-face time if necessary.

Q: What are good ways to keep in touch between meetings?

A: Supplement in-person meetings with texts and phone calls.

Out of sight should not be out of mind with your mentoring relationships. Encourage your friend every week with notes. Notes can range from Bible verses and prayers to pictures and laugh-out-loud memes. If you know there's a special event coming up, let your friend know you're praying before and follow up after. Share what's going on in your life too.

Q: How can I encourage my mentee?

A: Celebrate special occasions.

Use holidays, birthdays, weddings, and graduations to celebrate your friend. Cards and small gifts show you care about the milestones in their lives. Don't forget to recognize spiritual growth as well.

Q: What if I don't have all the answers?

A: Be transparent about your own struggles and triumphs.

Often mentors assume they need to have it all together—or at least appear to. But the beauty of a mentoring relationship is sharing, to the extent it's appropriate based on your mentee's age, the daily ups and downs. As you honestly discuss your challenges with circumstances and sin, your friend may be able to apply what she's learned from your experiences to her own life.

Written By:Annie Yorty